The DeMers' Adoption Testimony

After a few years and heartbreaks of trying to have our own child, my husband and I decided to try to adopt. The paperwork went quickly, and then we had to wait, and wait, and wait. Although we only waited 12 months, it seemed like a lifetime. A time in which we watched everyone around us have one then sometimes two children. We were filled with grief, anger, and loss. We couldn’t understand why God was allowing this to happen to us. Our social worker, my parents and family, our church, and a couple very close to us helped keep me sane.

Through it all I learned to trust God more than ever and to hold Him close to me and not let go. The waiting process is a time when I felt totally out of control of the situation and had to give it to God. I am a planner and preparer, so not being able to control this part of my life was at the very least, aggravating. Without my husband, I don’t think I could have lived through all the waiting.

Right at the time I finally started to become at peace with my life, God changed it again. On Dec 7, 2004, our social worker called and told us some birth parents had chosen us, and the baby was due on Feb. 17, 2005. All of a sudden I went from calm and peace, to joy, fear, and finally excitement. We kept our baby a secret from almost everyone because we had been hurt so much (even from people who were supposed to be close to us) that we just couldn’t reveal the information until we had met the birth parents. On Jan. 7, 2005, we met them and instantly bonded. It was amazing that two strangers could become that close in just a one-hour meeting. From that point there was no turning back. The rest of the pregnancy, delivery, and adoption went better than we had ever hoped for.

On Feb. 13, 2005, we were given a beautiful little girl who even looks like us! What I continue to find truly amazing is our relationship with the birth mother and her family. We have visited them three times in the nine months our daughter has been alive. The more we get to know them, the more we love them like our own family. I always thought open adoption would be scary because I didn’t want the birth parents to want her back. Even though they signed the rights away, it was still scary for me. Much to my surprise, our visits with the birth parents and grandparents have revealed just the opposite. We feel as if we owe them the world for giving us our little bundle of joy, and they feel as if they owe us for helping them out of a situation they were not ready for. They like seeing our daughter and sending her presents and pictures, but they don’t want to raise her and are very pleased that she has parents who love her.

At our last visit the birth grandmother told us to never feel as if we are indebted to them. We owe them nothing. I guess we must give the credit and glory to God!

Thank you for helping us! It means more than you may ever know.

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